A backup post

Creating a blog and only write about blogging – how smart is that? Well for someone like me, for whom current affairs is all about Siddharth Mallya’s love affair with Deepika Padukone and the most prestigious award is Karan Johar’s gift hamper, blogging is not a bad choice of subject at all (this way I can discreetly hide my ignorance). You tell me where will I get new and interesting topics for my posts? Anyway, this was supposed to be my backup post for last week to make up for the poor response which my previous post received, but owing to my exemplary procrastination, I couldn’t complete it on time. You will have tears in your eyes now when I tell you that I got only three votes in an entire day last week, that too on the second day itself. I visited all three blogs and the third blog was in Tamil; however, after closing the page, out of habit I clicked on that promote button. Now I have to tell everyone “yup, I can read Tamil ”. I hope that post was not about a kidnapping plan for Rajnikanth. Albeit it’s not a major concern for me as there were nine others who voted for it; all North Indians, Jai Hind. BTW if you are one of those nine people then quickly find out a Tamil Language Center for both of us or we need to sweep it under the carpet.

Talking about voting and commenting, I like photoblogs. It takes five seconds to view the picture and ten seconds to give your unvarnished opinion – “nice capture” (recently learnt and put into practice). Oh yes, did you notice my new profile picture? I have done some engineering with it again ; cannot help it. Hope it doesn’t scare away my visitors (I have already lost too many regular visitors and this post will only exacerbate the situation). I love to explore the tools available on the dashboard; the only option which I abhor is “write a new post”. Unfortunately wordpress does not allow any HTML research work. This is bit of a downer after the riveting experience I had of manhandling blogger template. When I bid adieu to my blogspot blog leaving it in abject-disarray, the home page looked more like a Valentine’s Day card.

I actually wanted to find out how many genuine readers I have but later changed my mind as it sounded little conflicting to my approach towards blogging. Beggars cannot be choosers and I have already established my credibility as one; no no not chooser….. ummm….I mean the other one. I strongly believe in the philosophy that when it comes to traffic, begging is the most effective tool. So if you are an obligatory visitor, please continue to read, you are the best! You endure all the pain with a smiling face, you are no less than a freedom fighter. In case you forget, I will keep reminding you via comments, mails, sms and/or personal visits.

You know what? I need to find an alternate option to kill time, cannot depend on my stupid blog anymore especially when activities drop significantly after 48 hours, also I don’t see my blog surviving for a long time as my ADD is taking effect. I think I have completely screwed up this one, probably have to rewrite the entire post now. Not that it will become one epic saga but still, I have nothing to do, let’s see.

Now what do I have as an entertainment option? News, cricket, movies and serials, all courtesy that same old idiot box (finally it is justifying its name). Watching movies in theatre would be no less than an adventure here as we have only 2 dilapidated theatres and both look haunted. There have been talks of couple of multiplexes coming up (don’t know how far it’s true), but do we look like the kind of people who would pay 150 rupees to watch a movie? Bullshit! They will have no other option but to convert those into marriage halls. Ok so let’s review these idiot box options:

1. News: Your grocery shop guy will anyway give an account of all the absorbing stories e.g. Sharad Pawar’s cheeks being exposed to an unfamiliar touch or George Bush getting more concerned about shoe missiles than cruise missiles or a movie being made specifically for that coveted Oscar award with a winning combination of slums, poverty, brutality, and a foreign director. So why waste time?
2. Cricket: Ain’t they playing the same shots for last couple of centuries now? Height of monotony. Yes there was a time when we attended the school while Gavaskar was on the verge of scoring a hundred, the school teachers looked as irksome as Gabbar Singh. But things have changed. It’s been 20 years since I have seen my school and Gavaskar has to sit next to Navjyot Singh Siddhu in the commentary box now. He has more reasons to be nostalgic than me.
3. Movies (on television, yup): I liked how it was earlier. Movies were dumb, we were dumb, everything was dumb and we were happy. When that exaggeratedly innocent Hema Malini was confronted by four goons on a deserted road while she was returning home buying vegetables, we didn’t question which vegetable shop was open at 2 O’clock in the night. And then there was a deafening outbursts of applause and whistles when Dharmendra came out of the manhole breaking the lid to save her. Did we for once question what was he doing inside the manhole all this while?
4. Serials: A killer option but I prefer reality shows. If you ever have a feud with someone and you lose an argument then don’t worry; come home, watch an episode of any of those reality shows, and go back and continue from where you left. This time you will shine. Please note, wearing a sardonic smile all the time is absolutely mandatory.

Anyway, found my mp3 player which I was frantically searching for past few days. My two kittens were brushing their soccer skills with that. Now I am going to play some cheap, catchy numbers (you know my taste, right?), stand in the middle of the road and emulate this legendary dancer:

However, for advanced level dancers, I would highly recommend the following dance form:

Image source - The Hindu

Do you know why I have mentioned image source? So that if they decide to shut down a site because of this image, let them shut down ‘The Hindu’. Why should my blog suffer? I have an astounding number of 22 posts here, out of which 3 were guest posts for another site and 2 bragging about couple of awards for my outstanding contribution to the literary world, conferred by two visionaries who never visited my ……..ahem ahem (don’t worry they are not reading this either). But I took it in the right spirit, the spirit of driving traffic, and shamelessly wrote two posts expressing my gratitude towards them and managed to increase the number of visitors. You must be wondering how can someone spread so much of negativity with just one post? Well I can, that’s my area of expertise.

Anyway, another timepass option would be to do the same experiment which Rakesh Roshan did in Koi Mil Gaya. In fact, my system looks more like the one used by him in that movie, so it should work. Yes, I am going to do that, I am going to call Jadoo.

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